2013/243 Fire in the Sky

It was a long day at work today, but thankfully, I had one of the best lunches I've had in a long time. It kept me going. Seriously, the bread was so good, I could go back tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that.

It was a turkey sandwich on country bread (at least that's what I thought it was). The bread itself was so ridiculously soft that I could have slept on it. And the crust, oh the crust, it was crusty with grains all over the top of it.

I was hoping to leave the office by 3:30pm, but I didn't get out of there until shortly after 4:00pm. Didn't matter, there was a cool breeze as I walked to my car so I put the top back and cruised over to Old Town Orange, treated myself to a Grape Float and took pictures galore. It was wonderful.

And the best part was still yet to come. As I drove home, the sunset was like fire in the sky. It's going to be a good weekend.

2013/242 Praising God All the Way

After not one, but TWO weeks off of chemo, it was time to get back on the program. I wasn't looking forward to it, but not going was not an option. I was a bit apprehensive about the port after all the trouble Jesse had accessing it the last time. I made doubly sure to remember to put on the lidocaine just in case. 

I was so thankful that there was no trouble this time at all. With the disappointment I felt yesterday with the test results, I didn't need another reason for a pity party. The walk back to my car from the infusion center had much more pep than it did yesterday. I was praising God all the way to the car and all the way home. 

But even if there was trouble accessing the port, I still would have praised God all the way. 

2013/241 What am I Doing with the Rest of My Life

Had my monthly check up today. First I had to get my blood test which I cut a little too close to the doctor's appointment for my own comfort. After the drill, I walked towards the lobby when tears suddenly came from nowhere. Even after four years of this, there are times when I can't believe this is my life.

I was expecting a long wait for the doctor since he had been on vacation for over two weeks and as a result, I knew he was over booked this week. It was a pleasant surprise when he came walking through the door just a few moments after the nurse showed me to the examination room. After an exchange of pleasantries, he went through my test results.

The bottom line, there wasn't much change in the numbers. My CA27-27 from last month as compared to the month before had gone up about 10 points. He didn't make a big deal about it, saying something like the numbers had stabilized, but I was rather disappointed. He scheduled me for two more months of chemo with a bone scan in between and I went on my not so merry way.

As I walked to the parking lot, the tears threatened to make another appearance, but I pushed them back. I didn't want to take myself there. I put my trust in the Lord, not in some test results. Sure instead of 237, they are now 248, but they've been as high as 900 and I've survived.

Still, I couldn't help but wonder, what am I doing with my life? Am I prepared for what's ahead.

2013/240 Off Kilter

I prayed on my way to work this morning. Prayed for patience. Prayed for humbleness. Prayed for kindness. And still I was off kilter. An afternoon meeting did nothing to set me straight. I left the office grumpy and frustrated.

A drive home with the top down did wonders.

2013/238 & 239 Home Again and a Celebration

Back at home on Sunday, guess where I had to go.....

Celebrating my baby girl's first birthday a few weeks early. She's walking already!

2013/235-237

Thursday was spent celebrating Grant's High School graduation. Such a wonderful blessing to be a part of the festivities. Eliz was so proud and happy. We all were. While we waited in the stands for the ceremony to begin, they had a montage of the graduates sending a message of love and thanks to their loved ones. We got to hear Grant's call out five time. Every time we clapped we heard his message, we cheered and, yes, cried.

Upon learning that Brie wouldn't be home on Friday, we decided to stay one more day. At first the plan was to drive to the Bay Area to see a historic mansion, but after the week, we were tired out. Instead we enjoyed a leisurely breakfast, followed by a drive to Historic Roseville and Old Auburn.

Saturday morning, we rose early, took our time getting ready and said our goodbyes at 9:30am. I was sad to leave, but anxious to see our little Belle and sleep in my own bed again.

Looking forward to another visit very soon.

2013/234 The Best Part of the Day

Spending some one on one time with my lovely niece

was the best part of my day.

2013/225 & 226 Rewind

After waiting all week, it was more than I could have hoped for especially since I by the time Friday came along I was so tired, I was afraid, I would spend the whole thing being a lump on the log.

Saturday, I lived up to my name, being a busy, busy bee. It felt so good to be so productive. The late afternoon to the night was spent in the kitchen getting ready for our Mother's Day picnic. I was thankful the energy. I was thankful that my body held up.

Sunday, started with a delicious breakfast provided by my baby girl, followed by a picnic in Manhattan Beach where the sea breeze brought a welcome coolness to the air. It was a wonderful day, filled with lots of love from my babies and punctuated by text messages from many of Brie's friends.

If I could rewind the weekend, I would. Every second of it.

2013/219 - 224

Work got the best of me this last week, starting first thing Monday morning, but I did fight back as best I could. Even before my alarm went off, I could hear the beating of the rain outside my window. I contemplated the pros/cons of driving in to the office as I originally planned. In the end, the cons outweighed the pros, but all that meant was more time for me to actually do what I'm paid to do....work. While I was doing that, Brie was working on her final essay for her writing class. It was a long night.

There was no excuse not to go into on Tuesday, which made for a long, long ride home.

Wednesday, it felt like the week would never end, but I was determined to leave work no later than 3:30pm, after all, I had worked Sunday, late on Monday and Tuesday AND I had a after work date with my daughter.

Thursday was Day 3, Cycle 5 and my chem port decided to not to cooperate. I pouted when the nurse told me I was going to have to have an IV as they tried to figure out what was up with the port. It took three tries before he got a good stick. I tried hard not to be a baby about it, but I did feel a bit like a pin cushion.

At last Friday came. I ended the work week much like Monday, ignoring my alarm at 5am and deciding to work from home again. I was online by 6:30am and didn't even think about taking a break until after noon. The best part of the day? Seeing Ashley and family as they made a pitstop for the night. It felt good to relax a little before the kiddies arrived.

2013/217 & 218 Not Ready

Saturday, the day I was waiting for all week, begun just as I had hoped, casually and slow. It was the kind of day I needed.

Sunday, was church followed by a little mother, daughter time which unfortunately was interrupted by a mid-morning nap by me. A trip to Dripp didn't result in the pick me up I was hoping for. I finally resigned myself to the fact that I need more rest than I was willing to admit.

I am so not ready for work tomorrow.

2013/215 & 216 The End of the Week

Thursday, D-Day, the day of do or die. We launched a new program at work. One that is supposed to make us better, faster. The day started early, full of anticipation. I arrived in the office at 6:30am and there was already a buzz in the air.

This afternoon, after a long week of work, I was torn. It was almost five o'clock before I left the office which meant a good hour and a half of traffic before I would get home. Which meant, I would probably be a lump on the log the rest of the evening. I could head to the beach, but I was so tired. I turned West and stopped for dinner thinking it would invigorate me. The little bakery restaurant was lovely, but the food was oh, so so. 

2013/214 The Good, the Bad, The Ugly and the Very Good

The good, a huge project coming to an end. Looking forward to tomorrow and the moment of truth.

The bad, the traffic on home from work today. Agonizing!

The ugly, the grandma shoes, I broke down and bought the other day in hopes that wearing them would result in me skipping around in the office. Within the first half hour of the day, I had three horrible blisters on my feet. I could barely hobble around.

The very good, my sweet co-worker who took pity upon me, finding four bandages for my poor feet. Once again, the good outweighs the bad.

 

2013/212 & 213 Flying By

Monday, after work, because it was that kind of day.

Tuesday, after a long day and a much needed stop at the grocery store. It was a perfect shot to end a day that was in many aspects a blur