The Day After

Woke up to the sound of rain. Not the way I wanted to start the day, my body seemed to move in tandem with the gray skies. The plan was to have a mother-daughter day with some friends.

By the time we left, the clouds were dissipated, giving way to beautiful skies with puffy white clouds. We ended up at The Langham, a gorgeous hotel in San Marino. Denise promised us picturesque grounds. She was not kidding.

The day did wonders for me. It was the first time in a long time that I walked around without thinking about the moment that I could sit down and rest.

It was a lovely, lovely day.

My Lucky Day

This is me, waiting for my Orthopedic Oncologist. Hoping for some magical elixir that will help me walk upright again.

The news wasn't what I hoped for. My spine is compressed which is why my body wants to be hunched over. There isn't a back brace that will save the day. I just need to put up with it for now, walk and sit as straight as possible and hope and pray for the best. I wanted to cry.

As I drove to the office, I fought back tears, trying to focus on the positive. The x-rays looked good, no change since my last visit from over a year ago. It was bittersweet, more bitter than sweet. I am only human.

Funny about life. I would have expected the rest of the day to go downhill from there. But it was a good day. I even told someone it was my lucky day. I thank God for that.

making spirits bright

I arrived at the women's Christmas event, "Comfort & Joy" in need of both. I silently prayed, "Please, Lord, let this be a message that lifts my spirit and gives me hope." He did not disappoint. Within minutes of Carol Kent's testimony, tears were welling. How she could stand up there smiling and making us laugh was simply amazing considering the story she had to share. Her message...choose life. I left tired, but full of comfort and joy.

Sunday we went to the Grove to celebrate Greg and my birthdays. I did better than I hoped. It helped having the stroller to hold on to. Waiting for our dinner reservations, we walked to the Farmer's Market and inside was such beautiful light. I let go of the stroller, camera in hand and for a moment moved around without any struggle. 

It was wonderful. 

I want to go back. to that moment and to that place.

Discouraged

I wanted to write of hope, but I feel so discouraged today.

I need prayer. Praying that tomorrow will find me in good spirits, full of hope, full of faith. Thankful that I have a God who understands how I feel.

What I Wouldn't Give...

to be able to ride a bicycle again, especially this little beauty.

Of course at this price, I would need to ride it work. every. day. But just think what I would save on gas.

Can't Get Enough

Still can't get enough of our Christmas Tree. Even in the daylight without the Christmas lights on, it's beautiful.

With My Whole Heart

Two weeks ago, I would have given anything to see my oncologist. I needed relief and even though I knew that simply seeing the doctor wouldn't bring it, I was grasping at anything I could. Today, I drove to the medical facility with a much different attitude.

Thankfully, I'm getting around better. Thankfully, my spirits are up.

On my way, I saw this poor little slug bug who appeared to be feeling much as I was two weeks ago.

As I trudged (and believe me I trudged) my way from the parking garage to the oncology department, I saw this as a message from God that I would have good news.

And good news it was. My CA27-29 counts went down almost 400 points. My blood sugar levels were good. My cholesterol was good. My bone scan didn't show any new activity or significant changes.

Tonight, cookies are being baked to the sound of blaring music and girls singing along at the top of their lungs.

I was allowed to go downstairs and take a few pictures. My heart is filled with the spirit of the Lord and  is overjoyed.

Let ALL that I am praise the Lord;
with my WHOLE heart, I will praise his holy name.
Let ALL that I am praise the Lord;
may I never forget the good things he does for me.
He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases
Psalm 103:1-3

Signs Are Everywhere

There are little signs everywhere that I'm getting better every day. 

I'm taking pictures again.

I'm baking again.

I'm spending time on the floor with Belle again.

I changed the sheets myself today.

I'm whittling away on my Christmas list...without a single online purchase yet.

I'm getting off my recliner more each day. 

I'm smiling more.

I feel more engaged in life.

Tomorrow is my oncology appointment. Praying the blood tests show positive results. Praying that the doctor will agree that more frequent bone infusions will help build my strength.

I Followed the Sun

Drove out to the desert today to visit Matt, Ashley and the grand babies. An added bonus was the sight of blue skies and sunshine.

While we couldn't stay as long as we would have liked because Brie had work, the time we spent there was as good as it gets.

It was so much fun, watching Maximus playing with his birthday presents.

Little Aurora had so much fun hanging out with her Auntie.

It felt good to hold her which was much easier than last time I saw her.

We enjoyed a good lunch at Red Robin.

Followed by a quick walk at The River enjoying the sun, taking some pictures and eating ice cream.

Before we knew it, it was time to leave. As we made our way to the freeway, Brie shared with me how much she enjoyed the day.

I knew exactly what she meant.